My Self-Rules

In this note I'll try to explain my way of thinking before acting. Well, can't say much for the preface. I'll just begin.

These are my ArrayList of Rules I've generated for 20 years of living (the "you"s is converted into "I" or "me" in my mind):

1. Do not try to make others understand you before you know for sure that they really want to understand.
   Usually I wait for others to ask me before I begin talking. If no one ever ask, then I'll never talk. There's no point in talking if no one wants to hear. Also, the willing to hear must purely come from their own hearts, not because they are forced to do so. This is what I've been disturbed with.
   Consequences if I'm against this: No one would have the willing to understand me.
   


2. Always listen to what others have to say first before you speak.
   Everyone have a point to what they have to say. Although I might have "stronger" points, it's just from my perspective. No matter how objectively I can think, I cannot be in their shoes.
   Consequences if I'm against this: No one would talk to me anymore.
   


3. If you happen to argue with someone, stay low and pretend to give in.
   A war won't last long if one side doesn't act at all. The damage it brings will also be minimized - only one side is hurt badly (although others may be slightly hurt for the cause of the war). A person in the middle of argue won't have enough mind to think clearly. If I just blurt out what I want to say - even if I think I'm right - will just hurt them. The only way to prevent hurting is to take all the damage first.
   Consequences if I'm against this: Both sides will badly hurt
   


4. Do not get involved in anyone else's problems unless you're invited to join and you have the willing to do so.
   I may find many problems that everyone has from just observing. Unless I have known the person well and am sure that he/she won't mind if I bring out the topic, I won't ever talk about it although I really want to know.
   Consequences if I'm against this: Others will see me just interfering their business.
   


5. No matter how upset or sad you are, do not let anyone else notice it, and more importantly, do not try to draw their attention.
   This is just the same as "no matter how, don't hurt anyone else". I'm usually hurt if I see anyone else being upset or sad. So, I won't let it happen to others as well. If I'm really upset that I can't stand it, usually I convert that emotion into something else (I can't say it here) instead of exploding words. This point has strong connection with the first point.
   Consequenes if I'm against this: Others will get upset as well.
   


6. Just believe that everyone have their own reasons for doing things.
   Different perspectives happens often in this life, and that's what makes something looks bad or good. The real "good" and "bad", "right" or "wrong", "true" or "false" were never defined, so I just won't make any.
   Consequences if I'm against this: Oh well, I'm not a judge and I don't like being one..
   


7. If none of the above works to generate a solution, it's time to do "research" and learn a new rule.
   Well, humans have to always learn to live their life. Rules were never enough to create true peace. That's why humans must have their own willing to learn from anything. Even these rules should still be improved.
   Consequences if I'm against this: Think for yourself..
   

Well, I think that's all I want to say now. If you want to comment about your own perspectives, I'll more than pleased to accept (refer to rule #6).