I don't understand why my friends would say this to me, "Of course, you're clever, you won't need to do this." after I told them not to cheat. I mean, is being clever a "reason" to not cheat? Which is right,
- If you're clever, you're not going to cheat.
- If you don't cheat, you'll be clever.
For me, I choose the second is the right one. Being clever is merely a result, NOT a reason. And please take note, I never felt I'm clever, so that's no reason I'm not cheating. I'm just a fool full of pride. I'm not cheating is merely because of my pride. You are the one who set your own limit, and are unwilling to do more than you do now. And I'm a fool, yeah, since I'm not going to cheat in any condition. I'd rather obtain zero than to cheat. How's it? Sounds stupid, eh? I admit it, but I'm not gonna change it. I'm happy I'm a fool as long I'm not fooling around.
Maybe you forgot about this: Humans never satisfied, and not all humans cherish what they have now. When you have more, you'll want more. But when you lose anything, you'll realize "little is enough". Hmph, you might never think about people who cannot have their own life like you.
Okay, so you're my friends, and when I see you cheating or going to do so, I DO remind you. But if you answer me like that, I'm not saying anything anymore. I CANNOT respect anyone who cheats, so please do not ask me why I'm losing interest in teaching you if you need to. Well, basically I want to help anyone who has problems that I can help with. But as written above, just don't let me know you cheat, or I'll blacklist you forever. Don't worry, I'll just blacklist you when you need help at the subject you're cheating. After all, I'm not that arrogant, who throws away my friends just like rubbish when they're doing bad. I could remove my blacklist if you change your attitude, of course.
Huff.. I'm getting emotional lately. Usually I won't complain when I notice something like this, because I keep telling myself: "They're not you, they have different perceptions, situations, and conditions, so just let them be." until I'm self-doctrined.
Now I realize that I, too, have my own limitations in hiding my feelings.
a beautiful thought!totally agree! :)
ReplyDeletehah? which part is beautiful? I don't think this is a beautiful writing.. but thanks anyway :D
ReplyDeletei think i supposed to write it "beautiful" :D
ReplyDeleteremind me of myself back then, but in quite different situation, but this saying 'a fool full of pride', I like it.. XD
ReplyDeleteI am too 'pride' to study, quite strange eh? back then I want to show that I can do whatever others can do with less effort.. <-- well it's the real foolishness and yet so arrogant
as the time goes by, I meet more people with amazing skill and gifted mind, I try to catch up with them but I can only follow them, never really surpass them.. yet I justify myself, they put more effort than me, so it's normal if I can't surpass them... <-- another foolishness of mine -.-a
believe it or not, I never put a single effort to study until my first semester.. I've never stumbled before, so let's do it my way.. but reality awakens me, I did not pass my math subject in my first semester.. and it feels like get slapped in your cheek..
since then I wanted to 'start' how to 'learn' study.. and this kind of thing you can call as foolish pride.. and your choice not to cheat even if you gonna die because of doing so (it's not that extreme tough :p), is not a foolish pride.. it's a challenge for yourself and it's really hard to do, many temptations that try to shake your belief.. so you'd better keep this pride of you 'till you die.. :)
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Wow quite a comment you wrote here :D
ReplyDeleteNice experience you have here. For me, it's your complete opposite. I never felt so prideful like you. Instead, I always feel inferior. But not for this kind of people I'm alluding to. For this people, I feel soooo much more prideful hahaha :D
"We're still young, still got immense time to learn" (by Himura Karen)
Thanks for the story, it's a nice writing :D